Thank you Jesus

Finnegan has never slept more than a three hour stretch in his entire, six month long existence. It probably wouldn't be that big of a deal if he regularly slept three hours at night, woke up, slept three more hours, etc. But usually he wakes up five times a night, give or take a few.

This has stretched me and challenged me more than I ever thought possible. Not just battling the sleep deprivation, but the negative self talk, doubting my skills as a mom, and constant unwanted advice from others… All while trying to remain patient even though I am exhausted.

Well last night I was more exhausted than usual. I was falling asleep on the couch at 9pm while Charlie and I were watching a sermon (I did make it through most of it… but man Driscoll's sermons are long!). As I laid in bed I asked God for the first time to help Finn sleep through the night. I felt strange asking for it, but I also felt that it would be okay if my prayer went unanswered since God has met me with abounding strength and grace through this time of exhaustion.

Then I fell asleep… and as far as I can remember Finn didn't wake up until early this morning (around 5am I think). It is very possible that he did wake up and I just nursed him back to sleep without even being coherent or remembering. But I'm pretty sure he didn't.

So yes, that was my (and Finns!) first full nights sleep in six months and seven days. This morning when I told Charlie I welled up with tears in my eyes.

Thank you Jesus.