I have been dying to get this off my chest.

I'm just going to go out on a limb and say this...

The way women treat their bodies is wrong.

Yes, I blame the American culture, advertising, men, women, the media, your mom, and your ex boyfriend. But ultimately, I do hold you accountable for changing this. I hold myself accountable, I hold women everywhere accountable for how they view, think about, speak about, and treat their bodies. (I am speaking in general terms. If you are one of the few women who have been enlightened and treat yourself with respect, then praise to you.)

It starts with: how we think

Women are beautiful, kind, and they smell good. You may not realize this until you get married. The world needs us. But the world has also exploited that need and is attempting to manipulate us into thinking that we must be the most beautiful, kindest, and good smelling woman on this earth. You see Vanessa Hudgens? Yah, you need to be like her. Good luck. Here are 12 steps on Pinterest that I found to get you there.

But as much as we color, straighten, whiten, tone, tan, and try to transform ourselves into Vanessa Hudgens, we never do. Are we still beautiful, kind, and good smelling? Yep. But we don't really think so because... well... she's so much better. So we carry around a burden of inferiority and self consciousness our entire lives. We hate when there are "pretty girls" (you know, the ones with straight blonde hair) around, we hate taking our boyfriends to the beach where the in shape girls play volleyball, we never feel good enough. And in reality, we can't even see ourselves anymore. All we see is a scale of how we measure up to that other girl. 'Well her skin is a lot better than mine but my teeth are straighter..." We're paranoid. What do we think is going to happen if we're not the best smelling in the room? I don't know, but it sure is awful to think about.

We have no idea how beautiful we actually are. How our family, husbands, kids, and friends see us. I can tell you right now that not a single one of my girl friends is ugly, but I'm sure if you asked them, they would disagree. We automatically asume that our husbands would be happier with that skinner girl over there, she is so beautiful.


Do you hear all of this? I'm sure most of you are agreeing in your head. I'm telling you that this is insane.

This insane thought process is perpetuated when: we speak

To our girlfriends, our moms, our husbands. The words "discontent" and "unsatisfied" are the first that come to mind. But you know what this does? This creates a world where women are judged based on their appearance. This speech is what fuels the media and advertising agencies. They hear us scrutinizing ourselves, they see our dissatisfaction, and they jump on it. Imagine a world where each woman had confidence and respect for herself, we would laugh at ridiculous advertisements. But by proclaiming that we're ashamed, by stating that we're not pretty enough, by complaining about how we look. The rest of the world is just following suit.

This all comes together in: how we treat ourselves

So we've been carrying around this burden our entire life. And it is heavy. We have completely stripped ourselves from confidence, pride, self assuredness, and peace. We have proclaimed it to the world and they are proclaiming it back to us. Our bodies, which were once a beautiful, living, breathing masterpiece, have been reduced to a shell which we try to spruce up, paint over, cover up, and make excuses for.

If we really viewed our bodies as a source of life, to be protected, loved, and respected, then we would remain objective about how we treated it. We would eat healthy, because that's what makes the most sense in caring for something. We would listen to our bodies, we would spend more time outside, exercising, and doing what our body craves. It's like taking care of a child or an animal. How you take care of it has nothing to do with what it looks like or how well it performs. You give it healthy food because that's what is best for it! You take it outside to the park because that's what it enjoys!

But we don't treat our own bodies that way. We base everything on our appearance. We think we are fat so we either eat out of sadness or drag our butts to the gym, we lay in the sun to get tan, a lot of us even go to extremes to change our appearance at the sacrifice of our health such as laying in tanning beds, using treatments that are loaded with chemicals, or having botox or plastic surgery. 

It makes me incredibly sad when I see women who are hurting, defeated, and carrying around this heavy burden that their appearance is not good enough. When I watched the Dove sketch video, I cried. It is so incredibly sad that this is the norm. I know my mom and my sister have the same esteem in those videos, and I wish I could make everyone realize how beautiful they are, but even further than that, that how wonderful of a person they are doesn't have anything to do with their appearance.

This can be changed with: you.

During my pregnancy I have become extremely convicted of my poor body image and self esteem. A few months ago I had the epiphany that to change the world, I simply had to be a spark. If I want men and the media to stop treating women as objects, I have to stop treating myself like an object.

So how do I do that? I make an effort everyday to view myself as more than a shell. To remind myself that my appearance is not the most important thing about me. I have tried to change my view of my body from that of something that needs to be "dealt with" to a living, thriving, piece of God's creation that should be respected and loved. When I do feel bad about my body, I keep the thoughts to myself, knowing that what I'm feeling is mostly hormonal and emotional, not how I truly feel. I make an effort to never talk negatively, but positively about my body in front of my husband, friends, other women, and especially other pregnant women. When my husband compliments me, instead of "correcting" him (because sometimes I think he needs to get his vision checked), I graciously accept. I know he isn't lying about the way he see's me, who am I to tell him he is wrong? I am letting go of the expectation that I have to have some miraculous "recovery" or bounce back after my baby is born. My body needs love and nurturing, not a deadline.

My goal in doing all of this is to encourage other women to do the same. You do not have anything to  prove to the world, or anyone. Remove all expectations from yourself and give your body the love it deserves. Your body is nothing to hate, your body is nothing to complain about, your body is a magnificent tool.