Don't let comparison steal your joy.

*Side note before I start: For all you photographers, Charlie and I are hosting a workshop next month! Get all the details here. 

Now... 

I consider myself really lucky to be blessed with a sense of urgency and passion. I've always considered myself driven and motivated, and these are things I wouldn't trade for the world. But like every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. And just like my obsessive motivation, I'm also an obsessive over-thinker. I'm very rarely content, and while I try to justify my discontentment by labeling it as "drive", I'm realizing that no matter what, if I don't change my perspective, I'm never going to be content.

To put this in perspective, Charlie and I booked four full priced weddings and one discounted wedding with a trip to Maui this year. The number that we are working towards as a business is between 20-30. This number is what we would consider full time and financially stable enough for only one of us to work a day job.

Now if I had a healthy perspective on this year, I would be grateful for the five that we did book (and the fantastic trip to Maui), I would be focusing on the couple's who we delivered great photo's to, and I would be content with the fact that we have maintained a great friendship and reputation with each of our clients. Having happy clients is the number one thing to generate future referrals, so I should be encouraged! These are all great things.

But the obsessive, discontent part of me can't stop over-thinking. "Are we really getting any better? Are we really worth the higher prices we've set for next year? Are we going to continue only booking five weddings a year? Does anyone even like our work? Are we to similar to all the other photographers out there? Do we stand out?"  These are insecurities, and I know that every artist has them. I wish I could reveal that I had the secret to overcoming them, but I don't. But I do believe that with little changes and persistence, I can change my perspective and learn to ignore these voices.

Because the real problem, is that when I'm insecure, I produce horrible work. If I go into a shoot with this mindset, I can't let go and be creative, I can't feel inspired. Because inspiration comes from confidence. After the shoot I mull in my failure and disappointment with my work, and the cycle starts all over again. I try to think of ways that we can differentiate and be better, but the truth is that confidence and inspiration are the only thing that makes anybody's work stand out, and by hanging onto my insecurities, I am holding myself back from that.

So what small changes am I going to make to shift my perspective?

I am going to count my blessings, the things I listed in the third paragraph. The truth is that Charlie and I are doing a great job. We don't cut corners, we don't use cheap tricks or shoot like amateurs. We practice, we improve, we perfect, and we work hard. Those are things to be proud of, and they will pay off.

I will choose not to compare myself to others, based solely on the fact that it hinders my confidence and creativity.

I will focus more on the relationships with my clients and discovering who they are, because caring about people and their big day is the most important thing.

I will remember why I wanted to be a photographer in the first place. Before I ever thought about money, business, success or accomplishment. I shot for fun, for the people I loved, and to create beautiful art.

What inspires you?

Inspiration can be such a loose term with artists. Everything under the sun can "inspiration", which can sometimes be more hurtful than helpful.

I've found that it's taken me a long time to really narrow down what inspires me to be more me.

There are thousands of amazing photographers in the world. People so talented, so creative, so experienced, and so skilled. When I first started investigating other people's work I was overwhelmed. Everything was so good. I wanted to make art as well as all of them!! But that was not inspiring, it was hindering. My only goal then was to just get better, to make amazing photo's, but that's not very specific, now is it?

Over the years I have learned to listen to myself more when I look at other peoples work. I'm able to distinguish between a photographer who is great, and a photographer who I want to learn from. I've learned that no matter how great a photographer is, it doesn't mean that their style is similar to what I want for my business.

For example, when I first began studying photography, I followed a very random assortment of photographers. I found these people via google, flickr, friends and other local sources. Some of my favorites were:

Julie Watts 
Ross James
Ryan Flynn
Susan Stripling

Now if you are familiar with photography at all you should be able to tell that that is a very eclectic group. And surely if I was a photographer just starting out, trying to find inspiration, all those different styles would be down right confusing and exhausting. Imagine if I tried to take after every one of those photographers, they're all so different! But what I didn't have at that time was a sense of my own taste. Like I said earlier, the only thing that I was in tune to was that they were all great photographers, and much better than myself.

But once you do start to become aware of your own taste, don't be afraid to close the door on other inspirational sources. I've found that what I am really drawn to is natural, real, story telling photojournalism. Which is why out of the four photographers I mentioned, Ryan Flynn is the only one I still "follow", and in fact, he is shooting mine and Charlie's wedding next year! I'm inspired by his ability to make me feel like I am in a room he is photographing. I'm also inspired by Sean Flanigan, and the way he is unafraid to photograph the unconventional moments, the one's people think aren't "art". I'm inspired by how natural and consistent Julie Harmsen is with her color.

These people inspire me not to try to be like them, to copy them or to do what they do. But they inspire me to stop, dig into myself, and listen to what I love. They inspire me to have a unique taste for what I do. They inspire me to be unafraid and go my own way.

Listen to yourself and don't be afraid to be different. Learn from people who's art makes you feel, learn from people who have a good sense of who they are as photographers.

Part three: Sweat the small stuff.

This is the third post in a series about what you should be focusing on during your first year starting a photography business. 

In the beginning, you insist that it is the little things that will get you noticed. I was sure that once we hired a graphic designer to make us a "real" logo, that people would think highly of us. Once we got a Prophoto blog and started looking professional, that the inquiries would begin to flow in. Business cards. We Must. Get. Business Cards. These things are important, and for people like me who are perfectionists when it comes to presentation, these things are a must. But it's important to realize that these things are not "the key".

Because there is no one key. There are a lot of keys, and a lot of time, and a lot of work. Instead of spending months obsessing over the things I described, ensure that every interaction you have with someone is positive. Become friends with your clients, become friends with their friends. Have coffee with them, listen to them. Being a great photographer is a must, but without building a lasting friendship with your clients, you are losing a lot of potential referrals.

My friends sister recently got married and hired a well-known, husband and wife photography team to shoot their wedding. I respect this couple's work and from the few interactions I've had with them, they seem polite. But one of my good friends was at the wedding, and he noticed the photographers being rude to the family, friends, and even bridal party during the portraits. He overheard one of the photographers chew out a guest for shooting over his shoulder, which really stressed the bride out. My friend was shocked and disappointed when he left the wedding.

My main focus during a wedding second to taking photo's is keeping the bride relaxed and happy. Often they will apologize to me for running behind, which I always refuse to accept and give them a kind smile. It is their day, they are not burdening me! I am merely a fly on the wall, stepping in when they need me, and tagging along when they don't. At our last wedding the bride thanked me for being so relaxed and easygoing and told me I was reducing her stress. That made me so happy! Photographers often get stereotyped as being all business and schedule bound. But I insist on going with the flow during every wedding, no matter what. Because the bride and grooms happiness is the most important thing, not your portrait time. If you have an hour to take wonderful portraits, but you rushed the bride and made her feel guilty for holding you up, you have lost.

Your patience, kindness, friendliness, and helpful attitude during a wedding will gain you friends and future referrals. I often get friend requests from bridesmaids and family members after a wedding, and I can remain confident that I not only left a great impression on these people with my work, but from the interactions I had with them as well. And that is the type of person you suggest when your best friend is getting married.