I miss blogging. But so much has happened in the last two months that I don't even know where to begin to catch you back up to speed and get into the routine of normal posting again. But, I will try. This is a story of letting go and taking a leap of faith into God's plan for you. And honestly, it was probably my first time ever. I'm going to write this in sections for the sake of... well, everyone.
The accident
The real reason I have put off blogging about life for so long is because of this. I apologize if I am brief but I am still very traumatized by what happened and don't feel like reliving it.
On March 1st we found out that our baby was a boy. We had been dyyyying for this ultrasound and were so content when we finally knew that we were having a son. The next day we had a very full day and ended it with an exhausted and bleery eyed trip through Target, where we spontaneously decided to buy the baby's car seat. It was our first real purchase. We came home and excitedly told my mom about our purchase. We were exhausted, so we got ready for bed. We were laying there (both on our phones I'm sure), when I heard a crash upstairs, like someone dropped something heavy. I didn't think anything of it. About 5-10 minutes later my brother knocked on my door and told us that my mom had done something to her face, that she was bleeding and wanted to be driven to the hospital, but he had been drinking so he couldn't. We both got up as my mom was coming inside from the back yard, it was then that we realized the severity of the situation.
My mom had been on our back deck (one story above the ground), when she got up, she slipped and fell into the railing. It collapsed and she fell onto it on the grass below. She had a major gash (which we later deduced must have been caused by a nail) that started on the side of her head, went onto her forehead, across the bridge of her nose and ended on her cheek. The inner corner of her tear duct was also cut. The next ten hours were some of the most traumatizing I've ever experienced in my life, so I'm going to fast forward... My mom and I had rode in the ambulance to Harborview, and she was finally about to go into surgery with their plastic surgeon and ophthalmologist. Finally that afternoon she was out of surgery and we were relieved to know that her eye was in tact and would function normally (aside from her tear duct) and that she had no other major injuries.
At this point I had been up for two days and at my mom's side since we left the house in the ambulance the night before. But I was so emotionally overwhelmed that I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes it was all I could think about. Every time I left my moms side I worried about her constantly. The next day we brought her back to my Grandma's house, which we all decided would be the best place for her to recover and receive constant care. We spent the next week napping, watching movies and eating good food until she felt well enough to start getting around and out.
It was on that first or second day at my grandma's that Charlie and I shared a moment. I had been leaning on him so hard and he had been doing his best to hold me together. After taking a few days off of school to recoup with us it was finally his time to go back to Seattle. I looked at him and said something along the lines of, "I don't want us to have to be apart anymore." He looked back at me and agreed, and for the first time I could really see his pain in us not being married. We were both ready.
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