The first trimester of pregnancy is a dark time... well for me it was anyways. People kept telling me it would get better in the second, but it's hard to believe. But over the last few weeks I have been feeling better and better, and finally I am in my second trimester. If I could play you all the cheesy songs in the world I would . ("I can see clearly now the rain is gone..."). But it is unbelievable how good it feels to have energy again and to have some desire back to do things I love. (You know like showering, wearing makeup, moving in general, drinking decaf coffee). I still haven't made it in for a workout yet. But every time I clean I feel like I'm dead lifting 50 lbs anyways.
The last few weeks have also been a mental and emotional transformation as well. I have been reading "Fearlessly Feminine" by Jani Ortlund and it has really been changing my outlook. I would recommend it to any woman who is struggling with her roles as a wife, mother, or homemaker. God has been preparing my heart for becoming all of those things, to the point where I have become excited and giddy for it all, where as before I was quite fearful. I have always wanted to be accomplishing something or "making" something of myself. So while staying home with children was what I wanted, I was terrified of being miserable. But God can truly raise the dead, and he has changed my heart.
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