Don't let comparison steal your joy.

*Side note before I start: For all you photographers, Charlie and I are hosting a workshop next month! Get all the details here. 

Now... 

I consider myself really lucky to be blessed with a sense of urgency and passion. I've always considered myself driven and motivated, and these are things I wouldn't trade for the world. But like every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. And just like my obsessive motivation, I'm also an obsessive over-thinker. I'm very rarely content, and while I try to justify my discontentment by labeling it as "drive", I'm realizing that no matter what, if I don't change my perspective, I'm never going to be content.

To put this in perspective, Charlie and I booked four full priced weddings and one discounted wedding with a trip to Maui this year. The number that we are working towards as a business is between 20-30. This number is what we would consider full time and financially stable enough for only one of us to work a day job.

Now if I had a healthy perspective on this year, I would be grateful for the five that we did book (and the fantastic trip to Maui), I would be focusing on the couple's who we delivered great photo's to, and I would be content with the fact that we have maintained a great friendship and reputation with each of our clients. Having happy clients is the number one thing to generate future referrals, so I should be encouraged! These are all great things.

But the obsessive, discontent part of me can't stop over-thinking. "Are we really getting any better? Are we really worth the higher prices we've set for next year? Are we going to continue only booking five weddings a year? Does anyone even like our work? Are we to similar to all the other photographers out there? Do we stand out?"  These are insecurities, and I know that every artist has them. I wish I could reveal that I had the secret to overcoming them, but I don't. But I do believe that with little changes and persistence, I can change my perspective and learn to ignore these voices.

Because the real problem, is that when I'm insecure, I produce horrible work. If I go into a shoot with this mindset, I can't let go and be creative, I can't feel inspired. Because inspiration comes from confidence. After the shoot I mull in my failure and disappointment with my work, and the cycle starts all over again. I try to think of ways that we can differentiate and be better, but the truth is that confidence and inspiration are the only thing that makes anybody's work stand out, and by hanging onto my insecurities, I am holding myself back from that.

So what small changes am I going to make to shift my perspective?

I am going to count my blessings, the things I listed in the third paragraph. The truth is that Charlie and I are doing a great job. We don't cut corners, we don't use cheap tricks or shoot like amateurs. We practice, we improve, we perfect, and we work hard. Those are things to be proud of, and they will pay off.

I will choose not to compare myself to others, based solely on the fact that it hinders my confidence and creativity.

I will focus more on the relationships with my clients and discovering who they are, because caring about people and their big day is the most important thing.

I will remember why I wanted to be a photographer in the first place. Before I ever thought about money, business, success or accomplishment. I shot for fun, for the people I loved, and to create beautiful art.